14.2 weeks

Today I have been mostly good the new meds for morning sickness that my OBGYN gave me are really working. Thank goodness. Wish I could have had these the past few months. 

I guess I having normal mom of twin fear. I really don't know anyone who has had twins. I am apart of an online community that has lost of twin moms and I'm sure they mean well, and have tried to reassure me that even though the babies are identical I as their mother will tell them apart or will find a way to. And I am sure I will.... But what if I don't. What if after we are home from the hospital I don't find the way and get them mixed up? I am prepared for a few things. 

1. I am prepared for these babies to be born early. I'm praying I can make it to 28 weeks. I am hoping to not have anything happen before 26. 

2. I am prepared to leave these babies in the nicu. I've done it twice. It's not easy. I'm prepared to do it. 

3. I'm prepared to have a c-section. I hated my section and recovery but I feel it's the safest thing for my babies. 

4. I am prepared to be a dairy cow. I want to pump for these babies. To give them the best start. Even if its just whole they are in the nicu. 

5. I am prepared for feeding issues. 

I am having problems preparing my mind with other things. 

1. What if they need meds? What if I give the wrong med to a baby? 

2. What if they are on different formulas? 

Do I make sure they have different bottles as well so I don't confuse the two? 

3. What if I screw up big time?!?